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Not achieving all the results that you want?
Can’t understand why others seem to be so ‘lucky’ and not you?
Frustrated with the amount of negativity in your life?
Follow these 3 critical communication techniques for getting more of what you do want and less of what you don’t want….
Imagine that Tinkerbell or the Wish Genie has unexpectedly landed in your office or home and that you have suddenly been granted the wish of having a Personal Butler, a free servant to follow all your orders. The only caveat is that the instructions you provide have got to be direct and clear with no ambiguities. I wonder what would you expect from them? What duties would you like them to do for you? How would you direct them to build your business and improve results in all areas of your life?
Well the fantastic news is that everyone has a Personal Butler, who is customised and bespoke for your unique self. He (she/gender neutral) waits for your orders on a daily basis and unfortunately most people are unconsciously giving him the incorrect orders for improving their lives.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – C.G. Jung
Our ‘Butler’ resides in our unconscious mind; an iceberg is a useful metaphor to understand the unconscious mind, its relationship to the conscious mind and how the two parts of our mind can better work together. As an iceberg floats in the water, the huge mass of it remains below the surface. Only a small percentage of the whole iceberg is visible above the surface. In this way, the iceberg is like the mind. The conscious mind is what we notice above the surface while the unconscious mind, the largest and most powerful part, remains unseen below the surface. The unconscious mind holds all awareness that is not presently in the conscious mind. All memories, feelings and thoughts that are out of conscious awareness are by definition ‘unconscious.’
To understand how your ‘Butler’ needs to be communicated with/to effectively, to get the results that you want, you need to know the following –
1. Butlers are unable to process negatives
2. Butlers do not have a sense of humour, they do not understand banter, sarcasm or self-depreciation
3. Butlers will focus on whatever you ask them to focus on, good or bad, positive or negative, they will find it for you
“Your life is a printout of your thoughts” Dr Bruce Lipton
1. Unable to Process Negatives
The unconscious mind is unable to process negatives. For example, if I say to you ‘don’t think of a pink elephant’ automatically your mind must create a picture of a pink elephant first before cancelling in your mind with the don’t. Picture sitting by a swimming pool, full of splashing children having fun and playing swim tag and you can hear all the parents shouting out to their kids as they play around the pool ‘Don’t run’ rather than saying ‘Walk slowly’.
It’s so easy for us to talk about what we don’t want – I don’t want to be unhappy, I don’t want that type of client, I don’t want to eat too much….
Start talking about what you do want – I want to be happy, I want a specific type of client, I want to eat the right amount of food for my nutritious needs
2. No Sense of Humour
The unconscious mind does not understand banter, self-deprecation or sarcasm. The dictionary definition of self -deprecation is ‘the act of belittling, undervaluing or disparaging oneself, or being excessively modest.’ So, when someone gives you a compliment and you reply, ‘Oh this old thing’ or ‘Really I thought I looked really fat in this’. Or when we downplay our successes ‘Oh I’m really not good at finances’ or ’I bet I will really mess the presentation up’ we are underrating ourselves.
Why would you want to tell your Butler to do that? What would you have to gain? One thing is for certain it stunts growth and allows us to play small.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our Darkness that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson
3. Whatever You Focus On You Will Find
Imagine waking up in the morning and instructing your Butler, ‘Today is going to be a bad day, the traffic is going to be a nightmare, I have no time to do all that I need to do’. You have just engaged the ultimate service of your Butler as he utilises the RAS (Reticular Activating System is an impressive-sounding name for a fairly small piece of the brain that starts close to the top of the spinal column and extends upwards around two inches). Your RAS takes what you focus on and creates a filter for it. It then sifts through the data and presents only the pieces that are important to you. Focus on the bad things and you will invite negativity into your life. Focus on the good things and they will come to you, because your brain is seeking them out.
Remember that every instruction that you give to your Butler, he is going to metaphorically reply – ‘Ok’ M’am/ Sir – I heard that, it is registered. And because I always want you to be right, I will do my very best to deliver your request’ so make sure your requests are moving you forward towards the place you call success.
“Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear” – Tony Robbins
I’m curious what name have you given to your Butler? And if you would like to learn how to use them more effectively please reach out and contact firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S. My Butler is called Michael which, by the way, is not my husband!