A day to give yourself permission to be selfish, ‘full of self’

A day to give yourself permission to just ‘be’

A day to give yourself permission to say NO!

As I started to write this article I used my usual photo search engine to find a relevant representation of WFH Mums and I laughed out loud (I could have actually cried too) at the manufactured images of Mums working from home.

Any MasterMum (before Lockdown and certainly now during Lockdown) know that these images are so fictitious and unreal. One photo was a Mum sitting calmly and serenely at her laptop with a toddler playing underneath her feet with blocks. Yep, I thought to myself, I wonder how many toddlers sit quietly under Mummy’s desk spending hours entertaining themselves, never crying for attention, never asking to sit on Mummy’s lap and ‘play’ with the keyboard?! And more importantly I wondered how many times Mummy stood on those scattered blocks and shrieked out with pain?! We all know that feeling don’t we!

I am curious if any of you have been able to work productively from home while your children are bouncing around on the sofa behind you? If yes, please send me your details as I need some tips! Personally I find myself saying (yelling) “our house is not a playground”,  “the sofa is not a trampoline”, “be careful you are going to break something” and all whilst working from home during this Lockdown. I don’t know about you, but I tend to look more like the photo on the bottom.

People often asked me why in my Coaching business I decided to make a distinction between

MasterLeaders: Individuals who are either males or females without children

MasterMums: Females who wish to continue their career whilst being a Mum

Let me tell you why I made this important demographic segmentation. Due to unexplained biological reasons I was unable to become a Mother until I was in my mid-forties. As a result, I had enjoyed a long career without ever really understanding, even though I could theoretically appreciate the challenges, the MASSIVE change that happens the day you become a Mother. I truly did not understand the physical and psychological shift that would appear in:

• My identity: not knowing who I was as a Mum and as a working Mum?
• My work values and realising what was truly important to me now? For me, the biggest shift was changing from needing a value of achievement to craving flexibility
• My dip in self-confidence as I discovered that I am totally inexperienced in one of the most important ‘jobs’ of my life and that every day really is an ‘experiment’
• My pure exhaustion from sleep deprivation in those early days. I call it my ‘walking through treacle’ times when I was limping from one day to the next

With this personal ‘painful’ enlightenment and in conjunction with my ginormous toolkit of positive psychology Mindset tools, plus nearly 3 decades of experience of working, I know I am authentically fully equipped to support other MasterMums in their career quests and dreams too.

During this first Lockdown Mother’s Day all of us are experiencing I am urging you to choose one of the following Permission Vouchers for your sanity, just for today  –

• Permission to say no to stuff you think you ‘should’ do without feeling guilty (tough one for most MasterMums I know!)
• Permission to spend the whole day in bed watching Netflix
• Permission to get dressed, put your rocking music on and dance – on your own if necessary but you may find that your kids will want to join in the fun too!
• Permission to book an online call with one of your best mates and tell each other how fabulous you are
• Permission to allow everyone in the family to eat whatever is available in the house and get them to understand they are not living in a restaurant
• Permission to …………………………………………………………………………………….(fill in the blank with whatever makes you happy)

And I would like to give a massive shout out to some REAL MasterMums I have personally communicated with this month (all anonymous to retain confidentiality but you know who you are!) You are resilient, creative, and inspirational and are leaving a powerful legacy to your children on how to navigate with uncertainty. Priceless!

The MasterMum of 3 young children, one e-learning and twins, who has continued to lead and work for her organisation whilst her husband had to go through emergency heart surgery

The MasterMum of 3 young children all under 5 years and an entrepreneur, living in a 2 room apartment, that has made a new ‘office’ for herself in the stairwell of her Condo which also involved watching a YouTube video so she could turn the handle and lock around

The MasterMum of 1 young child who is sharing an ‘office’ AKA the bedroom with her husband and remaining upbeat and positive for her clients

The MasterMum of two young children who is continuing to proactively lead change within the Science world

The MasterMum of 4 older children who are all living in different countries and whose husband caught Covid19 and was in quarantine for a month but she continued to help others build their resilience globally

I know there are many more of you out there doing the best you can with the resources you have in these rare and unique times. Maybe you know a MasterMum you think needs to be encouraged to give themselves permission today? Share this and pay it forward.

FYI, I am not ignoring the wonderful Dads out there too, but I am specially reaching out to Mums today in this message.

If you are finding it hard to give yourself these Permission Vouchers or you would like to take a step in the direction of your dreams then please get in touch.